I would like to emphasise that eating disorder recovery is hard whether you have to go through the weight gain process or not. But if you do need to gain weight, here are some tips on how I coped:

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Dealing with weight gain: Practically

 

-Make the most of any support offered

- Health Care Professionals
- Family
- Friends

- CUDDLES: So many times my family held me when I cried and it did make the pain just that little bit more bearable and helped give me the strength to keep going!



- Write down your thoughts.
Even if it makes no sense just get it out of your head. I used to find my head was just SO full I felt like I would pop and like I couldn’t think. It seemed like a big scribble with a hidden end. But I found that if I began to write down my thoughts it began to get a bit easier and I felt like a fog had been lifted and I could breathe again. They often made no sense and I sometimes never looked at them again but if I felt that it was important to talk through them, or I felt like I couldn't cope on my own, I would show them to my professionals or my family.

 

- Write down alternative thoughts 

- At an appropriate time, try and challenge those thoughts you have. There is always two ways to think.



- Use any Cognitive Behavioural Therapy cycles you have been shown

– There are many online and if you are in therapy I know several are often used, find one that works for you

 

- Make lists of negatives and positives of doing a behaviour, ask for support if this is too hard to do on your own.

For example, the negatives and positives of choosing a lower calorie option over a higher calorie option.

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- Make a list of negatives vs. positives of recovery

 

- Make a list ‘Reasons to complete my meal plan’

- Distraction. There is a fine line between distraction and avoidance.

I believe distraction is when you accept your emotions but decide for the time being you will focus on something else and when you are ready you will go back to the problem. Avoidance is when you ignore how you are thinking and feeling and deliberately make yourself so busy you can’t think and don’t even acknowledge that things aren’t ok. I am going to do a whole other section on distraction but some examples are:
Arts and Crafts, DVD’s, Mindful walks, hot baths, a chat with a family.

 

- Have positive things in your day so you’re not just focusing on your meal plan.



- Talk to those around you about how you’re feeling, even if it is just saying ‘I feel a bit rubbish today’

 

- Live in the moment



- Find emotional coping skills that work for you

 

- Anger’s ok but: Punch a pillow not a wall!



- Environment change or temperature change. If you feel like you really can’t deal with it and your emotions are getting too much have a 5 minute break! Go outside for some fresh air. If you’re in the kitchen leave the room for 5 minutes and go and do something, then go back and try again.

 

- Meal planning, when I was at the start of my recovery this was essential. Planning what I was going to eat left less ‘wriggle room’ (as a very good friend of mine calls it) for the eating disorder to sneak in. But as my recovery progressed I found I could set goals about being less obsessive with this.

- Look at your early warning signs (things that mean you’re getting worse) and let others know if you notice any. Inform others of your early warning signs so they can help you spot them. The quicker you act, however hard it is, the better.

 

- Acting opposite to your emotions but not pretending!!

Let others know you’re not ok but try to carry on with life as if you are ok. If you’re due to meet a friend but wake up in the morning and are feeling rubbish, carry on!



- Spend time with people who make you feel good

 

- Avoid triggers if you can



- Be nice to yourself – do things you enjoy! Even if the eating disorder is screaming ‘no’ try and find something that you still feel you can do, even if it is just having a hot bath!

 

- Reflect on your day. Acknowledge the negatives but don’t focus on them and before you go to sleep try and find one good thing that happened.



- Plan your days. I found empty days could be the hardest or unplanned days could make me feel out of control. Try to not be obsessive but have a vague plan.

 

- MUSIC! Find music that helps. Whether its heavy metal music when your

angry, cheesy music when you need a lift or motivational music when you need encouragement, turn to music for a comfort!



- Make a list of goals. Short and long term. Specific and unspecific, I found it helped.

 

- Motivational quotes and lyrics. I found making a scrap book of motivating quotes really beneficial and the quotes helped me out of some of my darkest times.



- Try and get on top of any sleeping difficulties. But take note that I found as my physical health improved, my sleeping difficulties did as well.

 

- Distraction after meals, I would either go for a walk or wash up (after writing down my thoughts if I needed too)



- Things that calm you down.

When I would get to a point where I couldn’t stop crying, my mum would put my favourite childhood film, 'Beauty and the Beast’, on and it would help, even if it just made me feel slightly better it was worth it!

 

- Picking your battles. Don’t overwhelm yourself with too many goals. Choose ones that are the most important!





Dealing with Weight Gain: Psychological​



- Unfortunately there is no easy way to gain weight, you just have to go through it! Put ‘blinkers’ on and take a leap of faith.



- If it helps, remember nothing is forever, if you absolutely have to you can turn back to the eating disorder!

 

- Break it down! Don’t focus on the bigger picture or try and figure out exactly who you will be without your eating disorder.

Use the hope for the future to provide you with motivation but don’t worry if you can’t think that far ahead or if it fills you with fear.
- Take it one day at a time
- Be patient with recovery

- Trust others – Family – Friends – Health Care Professionals
- Trust yourself
- Trust in life and your future

-  Consider your goals in life: My main goal in life is for my family and myself to be happy and healthy. I realised the eating disorder wasn't helping me achieve this

 

- Have faith in your recovery

- Believe in yourself
- Believe in your recovery
- Believe people when they complement you

 

- Have hope for the future and hope that things can change



- ACCEPT your feelings
- It’s ok to feel helpless, hopeless and like you can’t do it. Remind yourself of your motivation for recovery and dig deep for strength.
- Or if you find you feel completely lost, try and just carry on with any new, healthy behaviours. This may bring up  a lot of negative emotions but try accept your feelings and remind yourself that maybe one day soon you will believe that your new healthy behaviours are the right thing
- You don’t have to act on emotions or try and solve everything, you can just ride it, go with it
- Remember that no feeling can destroy you!
- Is it fear holding you back? Can you challenge that fear and go with the feelings of uncertainty and use the hope that is deep inside to give recovery a try?

 

- ACCEPT life is a bit rubbish at the moment but it can get better



- Remember:

 .....that you are more than just a number
.....calories are energy and food is your medicine
.....food is fuel! You deserve to feed your body and mind
......to let your brain have some nutrients so it can think

 

 

- Think how nice it would be to get rid of all the physical symptoms.
- Don’t dwell on any physical problems you have but don’t ignore them either. Eating disorders are dangerous. Our bodies need food to survive, don’t risk your life because of the monster that has taken over your life.
- LISTEN to health care professionals when they tell you the damage you are doing to your body

 

- You don’t have to be judged on weight, other aspects of your life can show you are worthy and important and succeeding but you can’t always measure them. I would much rather be a good person than a weight that my eating disorder says makes me acceptable.

- LISTEN to people when they tell you they love you.
- LISTEN to people when they say you are worthy and deserve to eat and you deserve to be healthy and happy.

 

 - Is keeping your weight low giving you what you thought? Is there other ways you could get those things?
- Question what could you achieve if you gained weight and what you would achieve if you stay the same?
- Consider the advantages you had when you were at a healthier weight

- Do you stand more chance of making a difference at a healthier weight? I thought that even if my thoughts are true and I am that much of a bad person and I am that worthless, I stand a much better chance of changing that if I can get my life and health back

- You can create the identity you want for yourself once you’ve reached a healthier weight

 

 - Question what you are getting from your eating disorder. Do you feel good enough now?

- Remember that weight is so hard to control yet eating disorders place so much emphasis on controlling it

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- Are you in control? Or is it the eating disorder?
- Are you strong? What’s harder; going along with the eating disorder or saying NO?
 

- Ask yourself: Am I actually helping anyone by starving myself?

 

- You don’t need to punish yourself
- You deserve to be healthy and happy but unfortunately you have to take responsibility for your own health and happiness
- Is there just 1% of you that believes things can be different?

- Do you want food to control your life?



- Don’t expect perfection, slip-ups are ok. It’s not the slip-ups that matter its how we deal with them that counts.

 

- Can you communicate in more effective ways?
- Can you use other emotional coping skills to cope that are healthier and more sustainable?



- Perfection doesn’t exist and even if it did it would be down right boring
- Be accepting of your imperfections and even enjoy them!

 

 -Are negative comments you received previously, that may make you scared of weight gain, fact or opinion? Do they have to control you?



- Other people can live ‘normally’, why can’t you?

 

- What have you got too loose by trying?
You know who you are with your eating disorder but who could you be without it?



Dealing with weight gain: physically



The cruel thing about eating disorder recovery is that it is physically uncomfortable. And just like the psychological aspect, the only way for it to get better is for you to go through it. But trust me when I say that it does get easier. I struggled with the physical side quite a lot. From pain when eating to severe stomach cramps. From hot flushes to nausea, I went through it. On so many times I had to fight my demons and tell myself that these symptoms weren’t my body saying it didn’t want food, it was just my stomach stretching and adjusting to dealing with the process of digestion. Make sure you seek medical advice, it is important you take care of your physical health during this process!

Here are some things that I found helped:

 

- Fortisips. I did my weight gain through fortisips. These don’t work for everyone and in my opinion they shouldn’t be used as a complete replacement for food. I gradually increased what I ate under medical supervision and when I reached the point where I was ready, I added fortisips ON TOP OF food.



- Relaxing before meals. I learned some relaxation techniques and I found that if I relaxed, eating became easier

- Medicines that deal with stomach cramps, I used buscopan – trust me they help!

- Having a hot bean bag on my stomach

- Reminding yourself that physical discomfort or feeling full does not mean ‘fatness’ or ‘greed’ or ‘disgusting’ or whatever else the eating disorder is trying to trick you into believing.

- Reminding yourself that it does get easier and perseverance is really important!

- Fighting the eating disorder and having some higher calorie options.

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- Know that recovery is possible!

I AM LIVING PROOF! At the start I believed it could not change. But I persevered and look at me now. I am unstoppable ☺